Monday, September 13, 2010

Who is Ted?

Who exactly is Ted?  Ted exactly is no one.  Ted is many and one.  To become a Ted you must sacrifice your identity.  No you don't have to give up your self, just your identity?  The latter is dogmatic.  It's the flag you wave on the marble arch, as Leonard Cohen says, but love is not some victory march...Just be Ted.  As Ted, you'll find that you work that much harder to do something unique and useful for the world, since you don't have a unique and useful name.  In short, you Ted out.  If you don't believe me on any of this, ask Ted.  I expect lots of Teds to comment on this post to further illuminate tedness for all Teds.  I don't even know if Ted should be capitalized, and I'm Ted.  Is Ted a cult?  No--anyone is welcome, but you must be ready for the sacrifice.  Will you give up your measly little identity card, and enter the greater consciousness.  Perhaps as Ted we become more ourselves?  We Teds have met other Teds.  Once at a Phish show we met a group of Teds who truly Ted out every night.  It was inspiring.  If you have any questions, please ask Ted.


  1. Great description Ted. I'm drawn to the relationship between being Ted, the gestalt, and Teds, the points there on. For example, when we say, we're all Ted, I've always assumed this was to introduce some known ted to the Ted they thought they knew. Surprise! YOU'RE TED! And in the moment of salty gazing upon their friend, who used to be named Charly, or Sauce, or Fronobulax or something, they realize that in subsuming themselves into Ted, that Ted has sailed away on seas of NEU, all the while playing a jaunty tune on the High Falute. Pip pip!

  2. Let's all remember that this began with Lindsey starting to call us all Ted, not just friends, but servers at restaurants. "Thanks Ted," she'd say, and no one ever seemed to stop and care that their name wasn't actually Ted. So Ted became their name. This is what it means, I think to let go all that we CAN leave behind. Ted has also become a rallying cry one can hear across the playa: a call to start, to stop, to see, to pay attention. Not only do I love Ted, I love many Teds. Help! It is possible!

  3. Many have theorized on the meaning of the acronym. The Endless Detonation? Take Efficiency Down? Test Each Direction? Try Every Drug? Trust Ecstatic Deleuze? This Excellent Design?

    The thing is, it's not an acronym. It's an acrobatic hymn.

  4. TedTruth, TedBeing, TedLove, TedHeart, TedBody, TedSoul, TedShare, TedRide, TedRun, TedReady, TedStart, TedGo, TED!!!!